Tuesday, May 11, 2010

light in the dark forest

As I drifted, I saw a luminous being arise from my seat beneath an old spruce. She was ghostly glowing in a flowing gown, and she ran into the forest suddenly stretching out before me, though I called out to her to wait. I tried to catch her, I tried to keep her from leaving me behind, but she twisted and turned, becoming a pinpoint of light that disappeared into a deep and needle-cushioned corner of my mind. I worried that something had left me then, that I would not have a hold on all that was myself, and I would not return fully intact. What if I severed the connection abruptly and a part was lost wandering with the forest girl?

Then Alberto Villoldo, whose words drop like stones into a still pond, so that a few sentences send ripples to my very core, had this to say:
"The shaman with whom I studied believed that he could track his luminous nature--what we call the soul-- through time the same way that he could track a deer through the forest. He claimed to have followed the luminous threads of his being as far back as the Big Bang at the beginning of time, and into the future, tasting who he was becoming, and beyond, to when our universe will again return to that singularity from which it was created." (excerpt from Shaman, Healer, Sage)

I saw the girl again, as my fleeting soul scampering ahead of me down some path only visible to her deep into the forest before me. I did not need to stop her, because she had not lost her way. I had rather to follow her, and come at the last to the very heart of stillness and age, where I will step into her as she stepped out of me in pursuit of that becoming. My future self scampering off to become, and me following in its wake, stepping into each new future, each new second, following the thread of light.

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